The past few days have been routine check-ups and making sure my body is getting all the meds and nutrients it needs. Since my immune system is totally out, I am on several antibiotics keeping my body safe for the time being; I have a lot of meds and they're for anti-rejection, anti nausea and more. I also have to wear a heavy respirator and surgical mask whenever I'm going around the hospital. It's hard to breathe in those masks and that's one reason I'm out of breath most of the time when we're out walking.
In addition to crazy masks and meds, chemo's side effects have started to show. Chemo does a lot of crazy things to your body. My skin is so dry and no matter how much lotion I slather, my skin still comes out flaky. My skin pigmentation is darker now, and most recently, my hair has started to fall off. This morning, I actually panicked when a bunch of my hair came off while showering. I screamed and Kepi had to come check on me if I was alright. I was upset and scared.
Kepi and I decided it's time to get it shaved to avoid another incident tomorrow morning. There's a salon that offers complimentary haircut for patients at the hospital. We called them up and they got me in at 2 PM. Right after my doctor's appointments, we headed straight to the salon.
I was close to tears while my head was being shaved, but I decided not to. I thought this is a beginning, a phase of letting go of the past and putting my feet forward to a better future. My hair falling out is a symbol of my disease leaving me. A new and better hair will replace the old - a new, healthier life will replace the old.
|All this hair came off today.|
I am still getting used to my bald head and I know I'll be ok. It just takes some getting used to.